In love with my new Christmas nails! Super bling bling! Dave came to pick me up all the way at Yishun for dinner but i was told that there is a team dinner at the very last minute. So in the end he sent me to Shenton way and picked me up again an hour later. Niceeeeeeeee
My previous nails.. also very nice right?I love you too much to let you go, and this love i have for you is too pressurising. Maybe i should really just let go, but i really dont know how to..
Ive been thinking about you the entire day and at the same time reminding myself that you are away, too far away..
Dragging on really isnt doing us any better, its making us more distant. Dont understand why i cant just pluck up the courage to say goodbye, why cant i hold my head high up and walk away with dignity, why cant i stop making the two of us unhappy.
I am so selfish..
Please let me be the strong girl i once was, who can just easily walk away from a relationship that turned stale. Please let me have back my air and confidence, let me be the girl you used to know, the girl whom you fell for.
I am losing you..but before i really do, i have already lost myself.
In this lose-lose situation, what is it exactly that is holding me back?
If saying goodbye is the best resort, if leaving would make you feel happier and liberated, i guess i would really need to, even if its gonna hurt me so bad, so much worst than all these while.
I just want you to be happy, but would you really be?
Never knew loving someone wholeheartedly could cause so much pains to you and me. Never knew loving someone wholeheartedly could be so wrong.
I love you too much and im sorry i did.
But dont ever feel sorry to me, ive never felt that it was any of your fault. Lets push it all to love, push it all to fate, push it all to timings, push it all to impulsiveness, push it to everything else except yourself.
You're not making me sad, i am.
Stop deliberately trying to do things to push me off my limits, it doesnt really work that way, it doesnt really work for me.
I love you, too much, and im sorry i love you..
and by the way, happy monthsary
something you'll never remember, but it doesnt really matter. this day wouldnt last anyway, would it?
To think i thought everything's gonna start off well since my 2 weeks of leave have just started....
I lost my coin pouch yesterday at the theatre. I hate losing things, and this is probably the first time i lose something without getting pickpocketed. Now i have to spend a few hundred dollars, to get another one.
Then, i was supposed to meet Clement today for dinner and to hang out for a bit and of cos, to go to Cathay to enquire about my lost pouch. But here i am at home, talking to Clement on msn as i blog because i became sick, suddenly.
I woke up with a splitting headache and giddiness that feels 10 times worst than a hangover. My throat hurts so badly, my lips cracked cos they were too dry and i feel hot. The thought that my parents are going away on a holiday tomorrow and my sis is already away and i would be home alone wallowing in self-pity feeling horrendous with no food and no energy to even get a drink makes me feel really vulnerable right now.
I believed i have stopped depending so much on my boyfriend, but at this instance, its my boyfriend i really need the most. I believe even without medicine, as long as im napping beside him, i would wake up vibrant and fully refreshed. But no..not even a proper msg to care, not even the least concern.
I hope i get well by tonight so i wont feel so vulnerable tomorrow.
Kinda feel like crapped now.
Oh anyway, Twilight, the movie..was quite disappointing, but watching it with you, makes it an extremely good one.
Gonna let myself feel weak during this ill period, once i recover, i will stop harbouring such thoughts and not let myself feel this way. I will, try.
I wanted to do a proper update..but i kinda just lost the mood.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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